November

Photo, my own.

It is “a crisp, frosty November night, with the lights dry and bright against the hard black edges of the dark” and “the rain, with the wet black, tree-skeletons against the limpid streetlights and gray November mist.”
— The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, diary entry no. 35 & 31, 1950

I love November, the way it mutes October’s color wheel in a mauve, watercolor wash. November holds the starkness of winter at bay so that autumn may enjoy a graceful exit. It’s a liminal month, a time of edges, borders, and becomings. Being my birthday month, I decided it is also an auspicious time to launch my personal website.

Like November, I am betwixt and between—working in nonprofit branding and marketing, while pursuing creative writing and an advanced degree in liberal arts. Following weekdays of linear thinking and business lexicon, I long for the intimate, self-contained universe of reading and writing. On evenings and weekends, I often submerge myself in books, lingering over pages written by others while reaching for the right words for my own work.

In this interior mode, I tend to notice things more—patterns and light, nuance and emotion—little vignettes and stories hidden in plain view. I welcome these fleeting moments of grace and try like hell to capture them in my journal, or sometimes visually with my iPhone. Come Monday morning, I put reading and writing aside to greet colleagues in a meeting, or a well-framed spreadsheet, markedly different from the sea of language from which I emerged.

Yet, everything is ultimately connected: whoever thinks the liberal arts have no bearing in contemporary society has not stopped to consider the world in which they walk. I suppose this is why I gravitate to the interiority of reading and writing as a practice of continual discovery. I prefer a compass with a wandering needle, questions without clear, easy answers. Give me “both/and,” gray areas, and meander any day over binary thinking. Rebecca Solnit writes beautifully about writerly wandering in a recent essay.

My website highlights a modest portfolio of personal essays and reviews written these past two years, most of them pondering connections between everyday life and memory, time, philosophy, art, and the natural world. I have a well of other ideas calling for my attention, and hope to publish more. My Journal is a forum for brief, serendipitous excursions into places, people, and topics that interest me. Some may find their way into future writings; some may simply exist for their own sake.

To essay (essai in French) is to try. It’s where I find myself these days: trying to braid threads of wonder and awe, ache and delight, writing to remind myself I am not alone in wandering. I hope you will join me here from time to time. Most of the really interesting things in life occur at the edges and borders. Like the month of November.